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Love is Fashion Darling

My daughter Kali loves fashion. Well, she says that she loves art and that good fashion is “wearable art”. She loves to show me a new design she’s found in Vogue or Marie Claire and she never misses an episode of “Project Runway”. Yes, she’s all about the “creative process”! As she was recently following along excitedly with New York fashion week, I began to wonder (as most mothers do) if perhaps I’ve done her an injustice by not being a super stylish mom. I’ve never cared much about fancy clothes or an expensive wardrobe. Sure, I love shopping just as much as any woman! But I was determined to teach both my daughters how to clothe themselves in the way that matters most – with love. My mother never had the money to dress us in anything new – but she taught me the most valuable lesson one could ever learn about how to dress… that love never goes out of style.

I may not be as style savvy as Kali but she could still learn a thing or two from her dear old mum when it comes to walking the runway of life.


“How have you stayed married to the same man for 32 years?” The question took me by surprise, and I paused before making a reply. Let me think… how did I stay married to that same man? Well, it was easy. No, that wouldn’t be true. He was perfect and we’ve never had a disagreement? Ha! No, that wouldn’t work either. My actual response was both honest and discouraging: “Well we have been married for 32 years. But we have been ‘happily married’ for only 30 of those years. I loved him before I really knew how to love him. It was one of the hardest things most people will ever do, but it was worth it!”

Through experience, I have learned a few things about love. First, love never fails. Emotion fails, but love does not. Love is not emotion-it is a choice. I don’t have to feel love to love. I choose to love.

When I first fell in love with my husband, he was only 16 years old. I was blinded by love. I was sick with love – intoxicated, love-drunk. I even went to sleep at night with a washcloth I had sprinkled with his cologne. When we married, I couldn’t wait to do wonderful things for him. I would heat his towels in the dryer right before he would get out of the bath. I wanted him wrapped in the warmth of my love. Seriously!

But as I look back over 32 years of loving the same man, I realize now that true love took over only as I began to discover that feeling was not enough. No one can love perfectly. Only God’s love is perfect, and that was the solid foundation we began to build our marriage upon.

Love, we have learned, is not based on a feeling… it’s based on fashion! Fashion? Yes, success in marriage is based on what we choose to wear every day.

Consider our declaration and wardrobe of love based on Scripture: Today, I choose to put on quiet strength. I’ll accent that with patience. I’ll use the belt of discipline to hold it all in place. I’ll grab my sweater of love (‘cause it goes with everything). Then I’ll mist on some sweet smelling compassion, powder my nose with humility, and gloss my lips with kindness. I’ll put on the matching shoes of forgiveness (shoes can make or break the outfit) and then I’ll be ready to face the world!

Colossians 3:12 says: “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”

Isn’t this great? Yes! The Bible can even give fashion advice- God is the perfect stylist.

After trying hard for two years, we decided we were going to dress for success! Every morning, we ask God to help us choose what to wear. Some things look and feel good on me, other things are totally uncomfortable and embarrassing. But the awesome thing about a wardrobe is that I get to choose what I will wear. And the right choices have established a beautiful marriage of 32 years. Staying in fashion will ensure 32 more!

I’ve discovered that choosing to wear “second place” down the runway of life has set our marriage up for “first place” success in love! I feel love for my husband more today than at the beginning, and my “sick-in-love” is now a chronic disease!


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